Unacceptance.

Or rejection. Not getting into drama school is hard luck; or hard.

I applied for three-year courses and my friend (who is excessively talented) applied for one year courses. She's only been offered a three year... but I think that it's because I'm worse than her that my two schools didn't accept me. She's not been accepted anywhere that rejected me, to be fair.

Yet Here’s a spot. The spot is that I failed at what it is that most I want. I feel everyone would be better than what I am at what I’ve got.

So here’s a spot.

Unacceptance sounds better than cold hard rejection, at any rate.

I don't know. I'm slowly getting used to being completely and utterly mediocre; I don't particularly like myself. I feel like I need to be more than what I am. I'm not going to cry about it because that's not my style but I do want to shout and scream and find something that I'm brilliant at that I like.

And I don't think it's acting. And that kills me.

Here is a list of food, anyway, back to routine:

chocolate coated brazil nuts- 730
a smoothie-140
Subway bmt six inch-460
cookie-200
a biscuit-80
hot chocolate-40

1650

I suppose that's OK. Not amazing. Not terrible, like me, really.