Hmmmm

I went to her party tonight; the girl I liked. I still like her, but I can be angry with her sometimes too, and I don't know what to think. She's lovely but I don't think she really truly cares; she's rubbish at handing people their stuff back, for example. And of course, the way she treated me was awful. I shouldn't have read her online diary, but she was so cagey about everything. That doesn't mean it was my only recourse though.

I felt really hideous for the first part of today, and then at night I felt far better. Probably because I was wearing makeup and different clothes. I don't know what it is that governs my feeling hideous or pretty. I woke up feeling fat and disgusting- I've ate more than ever today, it's disgusting, I've just been on a rampage as concerns food lately. That could be it. Anyway, I got back, still in full regalia (I was dressed as a cat) and I felt so much better about the way I looked. I was socially awkward at the party, I think people probably noticed. But I felt so much better once I'd had a look at myself.