Today's consumption:
a sausage batch (400)
pic and mix (100g, liquorice allsorts and brazil nuts) (400)
an apple (30)
two tangerines (30)
tortellini and pesto (400)
hot chocolate (40)
1300. And I walked, a little, and went to rehearsals. They started off very badly; my part is smaller than I believed, and the narcissist in me dislikes that. But today I felt that my cast isn't as stuck up as I thought they were. I hate that I am the tallest and fattest girl, and the fattest generally. I suppose this could change by May; not height, but size. I despise warm up routines that involve touching others or running about because I think this accentuates my flab. I just measured myself; in inches, 36-29-39. Height still five feet eight. Bust, waist, hips. My waist was far smaller. And it is depressing that my bust is far smaller than my hips, I wish I could change this measurement.
What else? I was able to contribute to a literary discussion even though I hadn't read the literature, so that was another day of feeling clever for me. Till my rehearsals, when I felt fat and it obliterated the clever feeling. I dislike the idea that other people can see this mass flabbing around, and judge me on it. Then, the other good thing was that my cast is pleasant. What else? I'm not as fat as I could be; but nor am I as thin as I could be. I kept within my calorie quota.
I was going to type up something I wrote, but it is too embarrassingly bad, even for this page. Instead. I shall write a descriptive something, because otherwise the number of posts will affect my triskaidekaphobia.
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