It's a funny feeling, realising you're no longer the heroine in your own life.

Today's consumption:

a chicken thai wrap (250)
a geo bar (150)
an apple (40)
pasta, beanfeast and tomatoes (350)
a piece of cheesecake (400)
sultanas (100)
two tangerines (30)
hot chocolate (40)

Ok. So 1370. Not so bad, as I have also walked and engaged myself with information. Today we got told about dissertations; I'd love to do one but I don't think I'm clever enough. If I did, I'd do it on George Orwell, but I'm not sure what about him, I think some sort of Jungian criticism of him, or trash horror books, possibly James Herbert's. I really enjoy trash horror- I'd look at how it changes for each era, embodying the fears of that time, and criticise it using Jung's, Frye's and Bodkin's theories. I'll apply for it and see how far I get.

I also saw her, and he has come round to see me. I don't really want to see him; this sounds horrible. I just find him boring, and cumbersome to be around. I'll have to find someone else. Anyway, she doesn't completely detest me. She said hello to me, and she spoke. She says she feels empty at the moment, but we were speaking on the telephone and I detest the telephone; I become strange on it, I can't see what people are saying and I don't know how to respond because they can't see me either. I don't think I responded so well, and we didn't talk today. She wanted to talk last night. I would have liked to see her face to face, so that she could tell me, instead of having a telephone raze my insubstantial intellect to the ground. She's beautiful; I sat across from her today and couldn't stop my staring. Today I wore no makeup and had greasy hair; I didn't look a pretty sight. Ah, the contrast.

I also went to a poetry reading and saw my tutors there. I did not read, as I always say, it's far too embarrassing.