Sweet, thank you very very much.

Ah. I am sweet to say those things, those things are sweet.

I am not your sweet. How can I do this to Constant, feel this way and not tell her?

I forget that I like HC when she's far away, but not completely. When I'm with Constant, I feel odd, but I like her even so. Ugh.

Nobody at work takes me seriously. They are borderline teasing me. I want to be taken seriously. I feel like a ridiculous person.

1. I want people to show me respect.
2. But I also want them to correct me.
3. They don't push back deadlines for me.

But they do give me translations. I am trusted, but I also want to be respected.

You ask me to tell you about my day and I want to say...

I'm sort-of seeing  a crazy girl and want to go out to play chess, which I will do shortly. How does one become well-respected? I think people at work think I'm a joke- they make fun of my English accent. I don't like it. Someone nice said I'd made, 'a lot of progress' today. I don't think I have, but I hate being at the stage where a lot of progress is still noticeable (and further progress is still necessary). Hate it.

Do you know what would make my life perfect? Translating more, making huge advances in German and you and I living in France, or Brussels, or Germany in our own little flat, or maybe in a multilingual, and just spending all of our time laughing together and being kind to each other. That would be wonderful. Maybe we could have kids in a few years. We could play chess on Fridays. You're stable and vulnerable, and so am I, so I think life would be wonderful. We've got separate and similar interests, and I can tolerate yours.
'Tolerance' is the medical word for 'drug safety'.

You play chess. And you are beautiful. Ugh. And it's hopeless.