Planning, planning, only 3000 words and an exam left.

I've had a pretty good few days. I'm doing alright in the play, an improvement from the first night. I've also done one of my essays, which leaves one to go and an exam to revise for on the eighteenth, then it's over.

I don't know what I'm going to do without my play. It is the main reason I've been able to keep under 1200 a day, not only because it renders me permanently busy, but because when I am nervous I don't eat. It doesn't hurt that all the other girls are incredibly thin (comparatively) and so I feel that eating less is better for me. I tried on some clothes today that have become looser. I have ate today:

a bowl of muesli (300)
a smoothie (150)
an apple (40)
half a chicken wrap (150)
pasta tuna and tomato (400)

What happens when I go home for summer and all that food is on offer, and I'm a bit bored? I won't be doing as much exercise either. I'll get fat. Horribly fat. I need to divert, divert. I'll get a job. I'll go and exercise. I'll work on my dissertation.

My friends came to see the play on Tuesday (and said it was wonderful, but they're friends, aren't they?) and it's had a good review. I went to the library with two of them after and they said I'd got thin. I'd been feeling thin till then, but when they said it it was almost as if they'd jinxed me, and now I feel fatter than ever. Three of my essays are finished, and this is what is important.

I miss my friends and my social life. This play is eating into it, as are exams- I can't go out because of the time I must devote to my studies. If I'd done better earlier I wouldn't be in such a state now. It's all of my own making.

Let's institute some order on my disordered thoughts. Tomorrow there are two performances. So.

10am- be in the library and get some books
1pm-arrive for the matinee
5pm- back in the library for two hours
7pm- last performance
11pm- go out with cast.

Yes. That is my plan. And on campus I will drink a smoothie for breakfast at eleven, and have a boots meal for lunch. This could be substituted by soup or some such. I must take with me the dress, the books to return, I must wear my good luck necklace (because I wore it by accident tonight and I performed well. It must be the necklace). Yes.