Earth as hard as iron, water like a stone.

You said, you thought you'd end up somewhere green on a hill with water, you don't want to do a degree anymore, you get tired of the mother role. All bits of information I'm going to store up together to make a big thing.

That you didn't know what to say about wheelie bins. That made me laugh. It was a response to something I said, something like you were always yourself, you always seemed to know what to say or do about what mattered. As if you care about wheelie bins, as if it matters you have nothing to say about them. What matters is that you say what you care about and do what you care about, and that is what I want to do to.

A psychology degree, smashing pots with mad people, teaching in a progressive school, alcohol clinc worker, no keys liberation, a cafe from free food and rejecting a ten pound donation, living in tents with no possessions, marble tops and rejecting meat and husband in one go... these are things I will remember. I hope I remember the nuances too.

I am glad that I make her laugh. I wonder if she wants me around at all. I can't tell, because she lets everyone around her even when it's not what she wants- shooing people out the other day, but I can stay for tea, but maybe she wants something from me? I'll never know.