Today I ate:

an apple-40
chocolate cake (small piece)-100

1/2 a baguette with tomato puree and cheese on it-350

500

rice and vegetables-250
a smoothie (pineapple, mango and grape juice)-150
some muesli-200

1100

You said, today, "well, it's inevitable, you're always going to compare yourself to your sister aren't you?" It's true. I worry that mine is cleverer than me, without the added attention. She's going to be prettier than I am. She's musically gifted and taller, and probably thinner, and I suppose she'll be predisposed to anorexia, being a perfectionist. The things I care about aren't the ones that are obvious; I care about her being cleverer without input, and being a perfectionist, but I'm starting to care less about physical traits, not that I could have been jealous of her because she's more like a daughter; I take glee in her accomplishments.

The girl we were discussing has been unfavourably compared. I suppose that because me and my sister are fairly similar, we only draw comments on what's the same about us- or if anyone has remarked on it, it hasn't been to my face. It would be different if we'd been chalk and cheese.

It made me wonder if you've got a sister that you compare yourself to incessantly. A pretty one? A very clever one? Both? I wonder if people see in MCT what they see that's vulnerable in themselves; Mercury sees a successful sister complex, RA sees someone that's ostracised from their peers, I see someone scared of getting it wrong because she's scared of people. I don't think she's got much ability. My first thought was genital mutilation, though that hasn't happened to me, but I suppose it says something about my mind.

So, are you compared or comparing yourself to someone you can never live up to? I don't know. I wish I could tell you that you're prime, but I think you like AG. And maybe she likes you too. You talked to her about her son today, you used careful vowels and pronounced consonants to ask about diagnoses; you don't with me, you're careful with her. Because you like and respect her or because she scares you, or all of the above?