Call me in a few month's time and I'll be fine, I know.

I got a 2.1. Hopefully- it's provisional, an authority has to check it, but I hope against hope it won't go down.

I just feel disappointed because some of my friends (not all of them, but about four or five of them) got firsts. I've done well to pull my mark up, and they worked without cessation, but I just feel so disappointed that I didn't, and I can't say that. I'm happy I didn't get a 2.2, and that was a possibility.

I don't know.

Little Bird's not too happy- she says it's because she's worried about some of her friends, but I think not. I think she's simply sad about not getting a first- a lot of people were on a 2.1, she was too. I think she feels a little bit sad about it. I don't know. I wanted to hold her tight, she said she was happy sitting about doing not much. This morning I was in a different continent and it seemed easier to both sit on her bed in the room we shared with our other friend, and to stroke her golden brown hair when everyone else got ready around us, sleepy and indolent together. She got scared I'd touch her ears, but I didn't, and her head pressed lightly against my thigh, and she was beautiful. She always is, only I don't think she feels it. I wanted to tell her; I tried when we were advising her on what to wear for a night out. Her clothes don't suit her, really, they're garish and overstated. All the same, she looks beautiful and I told her so; that there was no difference in the outfits. She didn't think so; she thought I was lying to protect her. I was being so honest, as honest as I've ever been- but she doesn't see.

I think she doesn't like going out at night because she's gained weight. She said she tried on her white trousers and cried. I laugh at things like that in other people (even in myself) but her... I just wanted to hold her and tell her, you are beautiful to me, you are, you are.

She'll not feel it until she diets herself away. I worry she's making herself sick; she's been sick so much in my presence and I think it might be an automatic reaction thing. I have a kneejerk reaction to her; she seems so vulnerable and strong that I only want to say, sometimes, Little Bird, sometimes, just let me take care of you, and to wrap her in something warm and to show her how beautiful she is. Because it would be true.