Calories yesterday

brownie and ice cream
smoothie
pasta and bread and vegetables
cake
sultanas

I work this out to be about 1500, which is not terrible, but is not good either. So far today I have ate a brownie and some ice cream again. Cake cycles. I just feel a bit bored, a bit lonely, which is unusual for me as I'm mostly ecstatic in my own company. Not yesterday- I feel like I need people that are similar to me to take my mind off the mediocrity of the 2.1 but she of the bovine won't or can't. I know, I know, I know that she is seeing Dollface. I can't confront them or do anything about it because it's not my right. It irks me that they think I'm so stupid as to have not realised, or that I'd be angry with them when I've evidently no right to be.

Though I am, but only here. I'd never say so. I've no right. She's never been in love before, and she should be in love, she should have the chance to be happy and to feel that way and to feel...

It's just that I wish she felt it for me instead of for Dollface that trashed me utterly.

But that's selfish. I've no right, no right at all, and I'm just bitter and disconsolate. I think she likes me less now but I think it's just that she likes Dollface more- or is it that she abhors me? Or doesn't like me, or....

I need to stop doing this.