I need people to like me and tell me I'm OK.

Noone will at this point.

I need to stop comparing myself to everyone else and reassure myself that people out there still care and it's OK because I can't be happy all the time.

I just want to curl into a little ball and come out when life is better.

It's not going to happen though.

He wrote to me today. Just when I was thinking, god, all I need is someone to tell me I'm not awful or...

and he did. He said I should apply to acting school and I was good.

He's biased. He says all manner of terrible things too. But that little thing made me flutter for him again, and jesus, I don't even feel like that anymore but it's just because I need someone so badly at the moment. I also like the way he calls me by my surname. He felt so comforting when I lay next to him, so strong and soft and vulnerable as well, and just... but then I never felt perfectly safe in his company.

Here's the way I'll react to this.

It's good to have encouragement and support from someone.

But I don't have to fall lovingly back into his arms or anything about it. Any port in a storm, and I will ride this one out on the waves.