Always overshadowed a bit; this time by colleague worry. I am a bit of an overenthusiastic loser, and I hope the things I say don't sound pompous or judgemental.
There's a colleague they all dislike; and, to be honest, I dislike her as well. She's hugely fat- she's got a waddle, out of breath after walking upstairs, and talks in a saccharine-sweet way. MC, who's brilliant with everyone, says she hates the way she talks to the girls, and she gets on her nerves. I never thought of the way she talked to the girls, but the way she talks to us as a group irritates me. They say she gives us menial jobs to do because she's the manager; I have to admit, she did give me some filing the other day. This worried me because I wonder if they all hate me as well? I'd never know.
The people I thought hated me don't, and others excel, and one is aiming high (though this is not due to my input, but I am impressed nontheless).
She (irritating colleague) asked ten times if there would be anywhere to eat, on this outing we're going on. It feels unfair that this is another stick to beat her with, but I don't care.
I am obsessed with eating, but in a different way... I'd rather be me than her. If they dislike me it will be because of my loud irritating ways and because I overcomplicate when I'm meant to simplify and I don't know what I'm doing yet and because I'm patronising or cold to the girls. I would hate it if the last two were true.
2 biscuits-100
rice chicken salad-400
some raisins-40
540
carrot cake-100
3 slices of toast-300
a smoothie-120
1060
spaghetti-300
a biscuit-85
1445
OK, could be better, could be worse.
It's alright for today, but I want to start walking more. Tomorrow I am going to walk, because I won't have a rehearsal on. I can walk or bike for the next four days or so.
I shouldn't assimilate biking and walking and control, because I enjoy them, and what if I start not to?
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