I like my colleagues.

I try to project an image of someone that doesn't care about body image or food. I think I might be getting away with it. I'm not sure. I find it bizarre that all these grown women are on diets or feeding money to a diet culture- do what I do, and do it for free! I might be damaging my psyche by totting it all up, and feeling weird, but I'm trying to snap myself out of it, and when I did go through that blip I didn't spend money. I did it on my own- my meals planned, my exercise was free. I want the girls to be like this, as much as they can- the first part, not caring.

I think you, Mercury, are like this. JM said you can get angry today. You speak in a voice that makes people do things. I had a snippet of that today; but it has to be spite, or malice, that evokes that voice. It can't just be general noisiness, and I don't mind if they're vile to me; in my position, it's expected. It's vile to each other that I can't stand.

Are you really and truly past caring what people think of you? Sometimes I think you are, and other times I wonder, because there's something in the faux relaxed tension of your shoulders that says, I am nervous. You'd never talk about weightwatchers. What do you think of me? Did you want to hire someone else; are you wishing you had? Someone less flighty and silly, and more down to earth. I would like to be down to earth. I can't quite figure it though.