Fahren fahren fahren auf der Autobahn.

See, I think I am doing this for me, and I am. I am eating less, moving more because I feel happier, not just because I'll be slimmer, but because moving makes me feel freer and eating less lets me move more; I can't move after stuffing myself.

I have actually consumed about 1400 calories today- I ate half a peanut butter sandwich as well, I knew there was something.

Ah well, no more, no more. And that's sustainable. And I could do this every day.

It is for me, this thing, but it's about the way that people see me too, especially her.

I want her to think I'm in need of her, and that I'm lovely and beautiful, because I don't know what else I can offer.

Though it's what I want to offer everyone I've ever liked. Everyone, I am convinced, will think the same way of me once I'm thin. But what if she already thinks of me the way I want to be thought of? Or, what if she loved me for who I am now, and didn't want me to lose any weight?

I don't think it would matter if she loved me how I am, because I would still want to be different. Though, if she asked me to alter I'd not like that either. So I am doing it for a possible notion of myself that's refracted through someone else?

I am doing it for me, of that I'm sure. I want to be this way. But I know how people treated me when I was thin. Or maybe they only treat me that way because when I'm thin I feel a certain way? I can't figure which it is. I think it's probably fifty fifty.

Either way, I'm getting thinner.