Oh, today was gonna be the day...

I ate so much food I'm not even going to try counting.

I have mainly slouched about, watching films and doing nothing of note. I didn't get dressed until five.

Tomorrow will be different- I will sort clothes, and go to the library, and go and see Chatelaine.

I wonder what my insolent charges are up to as of now?

I wonder most what you are doing. Weren't you taking a turn for the Celtic this weekend? Cymru, whatever, I'm not up on the Welsh. I bet you never spend entire days in your pyjamas, or lounge about, because most people I fall for are energised people that do things and can't abide being lazy, or laziness itself in any form. It's not a characteristic I find particularly endearing, it just seems to pan out that way.

So what do you do, what are you going to do and what do you like doing?

What I'd really like to know the answer to is, do you like me? Or when they hired me, did you want to shrivel up, because I'm so young? And fluffy. I don't want you to think of me as a fluffy person, it's my least favourite descriptive term.

Why don't you like alcohol? Were you an alcoholic? Or is it just the concept of consuming copious amounts? There's definitely something that's hurt you- well, that's a stupid thing to say isn't it? Everyone's had something hurt them. I was toying with the idea that you were a man, till I remembered the stretchmarks. I'd still like you. Something vulnerable hidden beneath your clothes that explains your semi-awkwardness, your desire for privacy, your hands, your height, your walk. You're beautiful. You could have adopted children, and found a man to love you- it would have been easy. Though not for you, of course.

I fabricated this because I'm trying to work out why you don't socialise, or why you don't like the rest of us knowing things about you. Already, there's a palpable divide between you and us and I want to know why- it doesn't seem to be at your or their instigation. Am I reinforcing it? I didn't offer you tea yesterday. It took me a while to cotton on to cleaning up, and I felt in the way- did that irk you? Does my attitude to H irk you? I know she's naughty, but I can't help feeling overjoyed about it- it's brilliant that she's got such a big personality. She's challenging people's perceptions. She's challenged mine. I like the naughty ones a fair bit, though I sympathise with the brainy ones. I can't help but laugh at your bluntness, 'swot'. I far prefer the ones you have to work at.

I far prefer you.