Things I wish I could make you think of me.

1. I'm lovely, beautiful, thin.

2. I am a person of integrity.

3. I'm clever.

4. I'm modest, or at the least confident without boasting.

5. I'm an effective person.

6. That I'm not an arse.

These seem self defeating. Modesty counterbalances the wanting her to think the rest of the things. I don't think she will think them. I am skewed to point one: not even beautiful, or lovely, but thin. If I was thin then the rest wouldn't matter, I'm sure. Why do I think that? I link thin with everything else. Thin is effective, not an arse, lovely, beautiful, clever, modest, integrity. I suppose being thin is making a statement without making one; it's saying, I'm barely there, but look, I am there, I'm thin. Look but don't look because you can barely see me. Effective because I am running so well off the food I eat. I consume just enough, not too much, I've got it exactly right, I can survive on whatever you give me, I can survive without even. I'm not an arse because there isn't enough of me here to be one.

Oh god.

I'm incredibly narcissistic and I drive myself mad.